Reflecting & Projecting

I’ve never been a great sleeper but on this night my mind has gone wild. It’s racing like a wild mustang in an open pasture with no intent on stopping and no idea of where it is going.

The fact that I have 5 weeks left of college hit me like a ton of bricks around 1:25 in the morning, and now I lay in my bed wide awake doing something I hadn’t done in quite some time…reminiscing. I’m a 22-year old college student who lives his life a moment at a time but what I just realized is that sometimes we need to step back just to admire all the amazing moments we have lived. The more I think about it the more bewildered I get.

Although I have planned for my next step for quite some time, I find the uncertainty of my future exhilarating. Wherever this wave takes me is where I am meant to be, BUT there are moments when I freak out. Moments like now. For instance, when I realize that in two months I will get to realize one of my lifelong dreams of seeing more of the world. Parts of the globe that people dream of I will get to bask in.

Even though I get to travel and be free it’s hard to get over the fact that I’ve built a dream world here in the Heartland. It’s not just over these past four years in Norman, OK but how every experience in my life has led me to this moment. We all say everything happens for a reason, but I wonder how many of us really believe that’s the case.

I never want to miss an opportunity for any adventure. I’m not afraid of not finding a place to live or a way to provide for myself. I’m not afraid of anything the future holds.

What I am deathly afraid of is losing touch with the people that have woven themselves into the fabric of my life. Missing these souls might be the hardest and most daunting part of this next phase of life. These are the people who helped craft me into whoever I am today.

Regardless of my fears we all have to carry on with our lives. Time and fate both have undefeated records. That being said, if I am intentional with my actions, I can carry those cherished relationships into my next, unwritten chapter of my life.

If I care about a thing or a person, I tend to form a strong attachment extremely easily. It’s a blessing and a curse that makes each moment sweeter but letting go that much harder. I choose to take the good with the bad and roll with any punches life throws at me. So in a way this is a mandate for my future self to always stay in touch with those I admire, like and love because no matter where I end up those relationships are what makes life worth living.

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