Home Sick in My House: a Seasonal Case of FOMA from a College Kid
Have you ever felt homesick while sitting in your own living room?
A house is not a home. By definition, a house is shelter, a place that protects you from the elements and separates you from the rest of the world. A home is a place where one creates their life and has invested time into. A home has the feel of those who live in it. A house has walls, a floor and a roof. The people inside a house are what make it a home. A home can be anywhere you choose to make it, and when you are there you know it. When you aren’t you want to be there.
They say it is always easier to leave then be left behind but what “they” must not of thought about is that not everyone wants to leave. We are all victims of our situation. We can make the best out of the cards we are dealt. Sometimes the house draws a blackjack and we have no choice but to fork over our chips. I am usually a positive person, but from time to time I get down and can’t see the bright side of things.
I am currently sitting at my dining room table in Plano, Texas at my house, but I am feeling home sick. I have been at my house for less than three weeks, and on a Wednesday night I am sitting here. My favorite band comes on SNL playing some of their new stuff and I love it, but I’m not happy. This is something that in any other moment would bring me oodles of joy, but as Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys bangs out the beat of their new psychedelic rock jams all I can picture are images of my home. If someone would have told me three years ago that I would miss a place like Norman, Oklahoma I would have laughed in their face.
As a child you count down the days till summer. As the bell rings for that last time every student rejoices for that sound of freedom. For the first time in my life I did not get excited for summer. In fact, I dreaded it. I did not want the school year to end. I would have taken 25 more finals if someone said you can stay here at your home and be with your friends with whom you have spent 18 of the past 24 months.
Family is family no matter what. My grandfather told me from an early age that you never break blood. Family is first, and I know I am blessed and have an amazing one. Yet I feel like I am at the stage in my life where my hands should be on the wheel, and right now I feel like I took a wrong turn. I feel like I should have never pulled out of the campus driveway. As a college student who prides himself on freethinking and self-expression it pains me to feel as if I am missing out on what is going on at my home, Norman, OK.
I am suffering from FOMO (fear of missing out) on the best part of my life and trading it for a suit and tie gig (i.e., summer internship). I wear a silver bullet on my necklace from my Grandpa at all times because it reminds me that sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. Yet, I cannot get over the thought that I am sitting in the middle of my perfectly clean, picturesque house and yearning to return to my vomit-covered, cardboard-walled home in Norman. Because that is where my life is and I live the best life any one could dream of. It is like a movie on a daily basis. There is never a drop of silence in my home, but no one thinks of it as too loud because life is never dull. My house is a place where 100 of my best friends live. Those friends have become family, and I miss them already.